Humans are fairly unique in the Animal Kingdom. Unlike most species, we get multiple re-births. Emerging from each stage in life a different creature than we were before. But unlike our smaller insect brethren, we do not visibly shed our shell and change form entirely. We simply change our neural pathways, leading to new ways of viewing the world and new behaviors. We are creative and innovative, adapting to changes almost immediately. Amazing creatures, are we.
We don’t get to rest in a cozy cocoon until the change has happened, we have to keep going, only noticing changes after the transition is complete. This makes it harder for us to feel the change within ourselves, but trust me, it’s there.
Winter is our time of cocooning, hunkering down in our cozy little dwellings, resting and regenerating, preparing for the spring to come.
15 years ago, I was hunkered down with an abusive partner. Little did I know, not only would I grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from this experience, but I would also grow physically… soon after, my belly began expanding with the most amazing gift I could have been given, my child.
This experience was one of the most difficult times of my life, knowing what I went through gives me empathy for those forced to quarantine (or “shelter in place”) with their abusers during this pandemic. (My message to you, hang in there, better days lie ahead. If you need help getting out, there are options, feel free to contact me and I would be happy to help provide resources!)
The bleak, dark days of winter soon gave way. The universe greeted my emerging soul with a message: March Fourth.
The day I left, March 4th, 2006, is the only day of the year that tells you to do something. And so, I shed my cocoon and gave way to a new version of myself. Pregnant with a child I was told (by my doctors) I could never have, I knew there was much more to my story than this chapter held.
Not only did I make it out alive, but my guardian angel was now relying on me to give her a better life. I had a meaningful purpose to keep pushing me forward.
On my 10-year re-birthday, I wrote the following poem. Previously untitled, it represents a new stage in life, marked by the day itself, March Fourth.
The rich soil nourishes the seed, giving it life amidst the darkness.
The murky, dingy, foul waters challenge the sprout, making it difficult to grow. But with its deep roots grounded, the plant perseveres.
As it nears the surface the suns light shines through the water, encouraging the plant to keep growing.
A situation that once seemed impenetrable is not quite so somber; breaking the surface, now able to breath!
What others see on the surface as just the beginning of the plant’s life, is really its emergence from a difficult, dark, tumultuous period.
A period the plant MUST go through in order to grow into the strong and
BE-A-U-TIFUL blossom it is meant to be.What once seemed dismal now reflects the lessons learned with a brilliant light that inspires and comforts the blossom as its petals unfold.
One by one, the delicate petals release, flourishing in the tainted waters that helped it grow; soon revealing its exquisite heart of strength, courage, grace, luster, and beauty.
The persistent little sprout cultivated such elegance through ugliness only it will ever know; a true example of balance in a world filled with squalor.
Growing through the anguish, living to encourage others; only now can the flower delight in the pleasures the world has to offer.
A fighter, not a survivor.
-Neva Darling, 03.04.2016